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Posts tagged ‘Muslim’

Taking a “wait and see” attitude on this one

We can all breathe a sigh of relief now that Isaiah Kalebu has now been found guilty of the brutal rape and murder of a lesbian couple at their Seattle home in 2009. Kalebu broke into the women’s home at night, raped, slashed, and stabbed the women. One of the women, Teresa Butz, died as a result of the attack.


And of course you know that GOD told him to do it, as he testified in court. Yes, this was a religious matter. God told him to rape and murder some lesbians and he did it. “I was there and I was told by my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to attack my enemies, and I did so,” said Kalebu.

Isaiah Kalebu, convicted murderer and rapist. He says that God told him to do it. It's a little unclear which God he means, so I have a hard time deciding whether I should be up in arms about this. Is there some way we can blame the Mormons for this?

I immediately scoured the internet to determine which hateful branch of Christianity he belongs to. Is he a Southern Baptist? A Catholic? Or was he perhaps part of the underwear cult (Latter Day Saints)? Or, could he be…A JEW? I searched and searched, looking high and low, and yet I couldn’t find it. It was almost as if it was being purposely concealed.

Uh oh, I thought. Usually when the religion of a perpetrator is concealed it’s because he’s a Muslim. That could be a problem. You see, the most violent, hateful religion in the entire world towards the LGBTQXYZ community is Islam. We homos tend to shy away from criticizing them because A) they’re also a recognized victim group entitled to special protection from criticism, and B) they’re really fucking scary.

Here’s an example of what happens to homosexuals like me in Muslim countries:

Okay, so it's probably better to be a homo here in oppressive America than it is in many other parts of the world. These two Iranian boys were caught in a passionate embrace and they ended up being dangled from the end of a rope. Well, the situation here is almost as oppressive. We have Carrie Prejean and Christian radio, for example.

If I had any balls at all–which I don’t–I’d spend a little of my time and energy mocking Muslims. I’d go out and write a script for a new musical. Rather than calling it The Book of Mormon, I’d call my play The Holy Qur’an. It would be a satirical and mocking portrayal of the Muslim religion. We’d have a grand old time making fun of the known child molester, Mohammed. That’s right, the founder of the Muslim religion took a nine year-old bride. I think you can imagine what I’d say about that if Saint Paul or Joseph Smith had taken a nine year-old bride. Well, no one in their right mind would make a play that mocked the holy scriptures of Islam–the religion of peace–because most people don’t want to end up with the business end of an AK-47 shoved in their mouth.

As you can see, I don’t have any balls, and that’s really the problem. People who mock Islam have a bad habit of dying shortly thereafter. So I pick on the nerdy, white bread Mormon missionaries because I know they won’t fight back. I pick on the Catholics, the evangelicals and basically anyone who won’t kill me. I pick on beauty queens from California and the elderly. I pick on the Boy Scouts for crying out loud! Is there anything more cowardly than that?

Christians just think I ought to find a nice girl and settle down with her. Muslim want me dead. Literally.

That’s why, for example, I’m obsessed with the Ugandan “kill gays” bill. Uganda is a third world hell hole, far away from where I live. But I care deeply about the homosexuals who live there. Of course, killing gays is old hat in large parts of Africa–the Muslim parts. It’s not new, it’s not controversial, and I’m not doing a damned thing about it. I care about Uganda because it’s Christians in this rare instance who are calling for the death of homosexuals. It allows me to extrapolate that sentiment to all Christians. That way, if some one believes that marriage should be between one man and one woman, I can accuse that person of secretly harboring a desire to kill me. Just like in Uganda.

So, for the moment, I’m just going to have to do some sleuthing. When this guy says that “God” told him to rape and murder these lesbians, did he mean Allah? Because, if he did, I’ll just leave this one alone. There are some clues. First of all, the Qur’an really DOES tell the adherents of the Muslim faith to kill the enemies of Islam. Also, Isaiah Kalebu sounds like an African name. Africans are far more likely than African-Americans to be Muslims. Of course, the biggest clue that he’s Muslim is that the news clippings don’t mention his religion at all. If they could have pinned this on any one of those hateful Christians sects, they would have. That’s just called good journalism.

In the absence of proof that this guy was a Christian, I think I’ll have to let this one simmer for a bit. I’m taking a wait and see attitude. I’ve noticed that most of the gay blogosphere is as well. This is not a Matthew Shepard incident. Shepard was killed by a bisexual drug fiend. But the bisexual drug fiend was a white guy from the Rocky Mountain region, so it was easy enough to portray him as a religious zealot who was taught to hate by the churchy people. All we had to do was lie a little bit.

Does anyone have any information on this? I’d really like to make some hay out of this incident, I’m just not sure whether he belongs to a protected group or not. If anyone has any information as to this man’s religious affiliation, please let me know in the comments section.

Gay Girl in Damascus was a hoax. And your point is…?

Okay, so a lot of people have been asking me my opinion of Tom McMaster, the pudgy American peace activist from Georgia who recently came clean as the author of “A Gay Girl in Damascus”.

“Gay Girl” is an influential blog purportedly written by Amina Araf, a Syrian-American lesbian living in Damascus. “Araf” has been a witness to the ongoing turmoil in Syria, the latest chaper in the “Arab Spring” takeover of the Middle East by the Muslim Brotherhood and related groups.

The woman pictured here is supposed to be a Syrian-American lesbian blogger living in Damascus. Actually, it's a Facebook photo that Tom McMaster stole of some Croatian chick who lives in London. Not Syrian, but hopefully a lesbian. In any case, she's not a gay girl in Damascus.

Rather suprisingly, “Amina” is a big fan of toppling secular dictatorships in favor of  Islamic supremacist dictatorships. “Amina” apparently doesn’t think that three years in a Syrian prison is a harsh enough punishment for homosexual relations. That’s the current penalty in Syria.  She wants the Muslim Brotherhood to impose execution as the penalty for lesbianism.

Normally, I would be against the death penalty for gays, BUT–and there’s a big but here–I make an excpetion for repressive Muslim regimes. The truth is that I really just hate Mormons, Catholics, Evangelicals, and other people of other religions that don’t prescribe death for me.

Muslims, on the other hand, seem kind of oppressed. That’s why I joined Queers Undermining Israeli Terrorism (QUIT!). See the blogroll at right for more info. You may have heard of this organization. They used to call themselves  Queers for Palestine. QUIT! told me that once the Muslims liberated Palestine “from the Jordan to the sea” that they would indulge gay pride parades through Jerusalem. And I believe them. Obviouly, homosexuals are better off in Muslim countries than we are in an apartheid state like Israel.

Muslims seem like downtrodden victims just like me. Don’t get me wrong; on the heirarchy of victimhood, theirs  is not equal to ours. Homosexuals are the ULTIMATE victim group. No one else even comes close. That being said, I still get a dirty feeling inside every time I breathe a word of criticism of Islam, as if I am some kind of bigot. The last thing I want to be called is an Islamophobe, so I tend to keep quiet about Muslims killing pickle-smoochers like me.

But back to McMaster, the pasty white Yank living in Scotland who managed to fool the world into thinking he was a Syrian lesbian. I must say, he might have gone a little overboard when he wrote that post about “Amina” being kidnapped by Syrian police. It seems a little hokey. But other than that, BRAVO! Way to go!

Tom McMaster: Peace activist, tireless advocate for Palestian rights, and--unbeknownst to many until just recently--a lesbian and woman of color. McMaster recently explained to the Guardian UK why he had to pretend he was someone he's not. I think it's because no one would give a crap what he thought about the situation Syria if they knew he was a honky living thousands of miles away from Damascus and actually not a lesbian or a Muslim.

I don’t blame McMaster at all for the lies he told on his blog. In fact, I hardly even consider it lying. Neither does McMaster, as he explained:

While the narrative voice may have been fictional, the facts on this blog are true and not misleading as to the situation on the ground. I do not believe that I have harmed anyone — I feel that I have created an important voice for issues that I feel strongly about.

Telling untruths for a good cause isn’t really lying at all when you think about it. Recall the great fibbers of our time–Rigoberta Menchu, for example, won the Nobel Prize for fabricating some bullshit story about the oppressed indigenous peoples of Guatamala. Good for her. Her pack of lies did a lot of good for the burgeoning communist revolutions in her part of the world, so I commend her for it.  Al Hubbard, the notable founder of Vietnam Veterans Against the War, was not actually a Vietnam veteran and lied about being an officer. Right on, brotha! Gay mental patient Rick Duncan claimed that he graduated from Annapolis, that he was a decorated combat Marine, and that he had been at the Pentagon on 9/11.  He also said that everyone in his unit knew he was gay and they were all cool with it. Actually, he’d never served a day in his life, but who cares?

Rick Duncan in his Iraq Veterans Against the War duds. He's not actually an Iraq War veteran, or a veteran at all. Nor is he a graduate of Annapolis. Also, he wasn't at the Pentagon on 9/11 because he was confined to a mental institution. But he is gay, and I think that's a feather in his cap. He worked tirelessly for the repeal of DADT, and for that WE SALUTE HIM!

Can you really blame any of these people? Can you condemn their “lies”? I didn’t think so.

I used to do something very similar during the DADT debate.  It was ingenious. I used to surf around to all the military blogs and pretend I was an old gay veteran who had served fifteen back-to-back tours as a green beret in Afghanistan and Iraq. I even threw in some military jargon I learned from watching Full Metal Jacket just to sound more believable! My little misinformation campaign worked like a charm. Anybody can claim to be whoever they want on the internet and no one knows the difference. But, believe me, I really changed some hearts and minds when I told them everyone in my unit knew I was a cocksmuggler and nobody cared. It’s good to repeat that over and over again. Also, it helps to tell people that queer soldiers are smarter, tougher, wiser, and kinder than heteros. All the best soldiers are gay.

Telling lies to advance the gay agenda is downright admirable. I do it all the time. So, in the end, if the gay girl in Damascus was actually a chubby, life-long college student from Atlanta, I don’t think it really matters much. He told someone’s story, if not his own. And we’re all better off because he did.

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