As progressive as we Bay Staters are, some vestiges of the “pro-family” movement do exist here in Massachusetts. Exhibit “A” is the group MassResistance. They’re hateful because they keep following us around and showing people what we’re really up to. They should stop doing that.
The Southern Poverty Law Center lists MassResistance as a hate group. That means that they’re bad. The logic goes something like this–the SPLC has spent years battling the KKK and similar white supremacist groups. These days they’ve fixed their sites on MassResistance. That means that MassResistance is the equivalent of the KKK. See how that argumentation works?
It just makes me so upset. Maybe if I threatened to kill myself, the government would take some action against them. I’ve noticed that every time gay people don’t get their way, they threaten to blow their brains out. It’s been shown to be highly effective. Other people’s free speech rights are trumped by our emotional outbursts of self-loathing. I’m very delicate, and I might commit suicide at any moment. It’s easier to police the thoughts of everyone else than for me to just get some damned counseling. After all, if I got counseling, that might suggest that I’m batshit crazy, which I’m not. I’m just an emotional basketcase with same-sex attraction disorder. Many years ago, they used to call people like me “sick”–but those were the dark ages. Now we’re totally normal. The sick people are on the other side.
MassResistance has teamed up with another hate group, the Family Research Council, to make a short film on the “gay agenda”. Ha! Ha! As if we have some kind of agenda. Our only agenda is equality. And we have to brainwash your kids in order to do that.
I wouldn’t want to promote their film, but I’ll post here. I’d like to address some of the points that they make in the film.
The film features known hompophobe Brian Camenker, head of MassResistance. In case you were wondering, he’s one of those Jews we hate so much. Not that I have a problem with Jews, just as long as they don’t practice Judaism, which Camenker does. It’s okay to be Jewish, just so long as you submit a written proposal to me concerning your religious beliefs. I’ll decide what you may believe and what you may not. If I find your beliefs to be hateful, that means that I can hate your religion and it’s not really a form of bigotry.
Camenker starts in with the “Little Black Book” controversy, which is like, so old. In case you didn’t know, The Little Black Book was a homosexual safe sex publication paid for with taxpayer dollars. I keep a stack of them in my office at the high school here. Its full title is “Little Black Book V 2.0 Queer in the 21st Century”.
As you can see, it’s rather mild. It’s just telling gay teenagers to hang in there and not to hate themselves.
Well, not really. It does offers advice on: “Fuckin'”, “Suckin'”, “Rimming? (Lickin’ Butt)”, “Water Sports (piss play)” as well as “Fisting”. I get upset whenever anyone suggests that gay men like to lick each others’ assholes. That’s so untrue. But just in case that’s your thing, here’s a little advice on how to do it, and how to do it safely. See? We’re not perverts, we just want to make sure no one gets hurt while eating another guy’s butthole. Any one who thinks that the best way to avoid the risks of butt-hole licking is to avoid the practice entirely is just out of touch and in denial about the realities of human sexuality.
I have to take issue with the section on fisting, however.
“What makes fisting risky when it comes to diseases is that the blood vessels in the rectum are close to the surface which means damage can occur easily and go unnoticed. Avoid too much alcohol or drugs when you fist or get fisted…Trauma can increase the risk of HIV when you get fucked, so you might want to do your fucking before fisting. Use lots of lubes, condoms, and latex gloves.”
The reason I object to it is because it points out that shoving objects up your ass tends to break blood vessels. It almost makes it sound as if sodomy is dangerous and unhealthy. I don’t want to hear stuff like that because I rather enjoy having objects shoved in my rectum. It’s not an essential body part needed for removing waste, it’s my personal play toy. I stick all sorts of things up there and I don’t want to hear about “trauma”. Then again, that goes a long way in explaining why I have bruising and bleeding around my asshole.
I also object to another part of the pamphlet that says that it’s “a great time” to be gay.
Excuse me? Somebody better tell the writer of this pamphlet to get back on script. We’re enjoying “more visibility and acceptance”? I don’t think so. I mean, we’re actually overrepresented on TV and no one is allowed to say a disparaging word about us, but so what? We’re still an oppressed minority. It’s never “a great time to be gay” because society shuns us. We are hated for our love! There are still a few people left in society who don’t trip over themselves to tell us how great it is that we sleep with people of the same sex. And that means that millions of gay kids are at risk. Some of them might kill themselves. So STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT IT’S A GREAT TIME TO BE GAY, otherwise people might stop feeling sorry for us. And then how would be get special treatment?
Okay, but other than those two minor peccadilloes, I think the pamphlet is great. And yes, we were handing it out to high school students. Heck, it was targeted to high school students. Why do you think we mentioned that Boston has “lots of services for queer youths”?
But here’s the thing…no one was supposed to find out that we were handing these out to their children! But MassResistance had to go poking its nose in our business. They found out we were bringing our homosexual promotional tour to Brookline High School and they crashed the event, undercover. They like to do that. They don’t reveal themselves as the homophobes that they are because then we might not reveal ourselves as the perverts that we are.
So we lied about it. In the video, Camenker explains GLSEN’s reaction to the Little Black Book.
“Immediately, they [GLSEN] put out a press release saying that we [MassResistance] had planted the book there. Then in about a day later, they said ‘No, we [MassResistance] didn’t really plant the book. It really was there, but there were only a few copies there.’ And then they finally admitted, ‘yeah there were a bunch of copies there’. But they were going to try to make sure that they were not there again. We’ve since seen this at other events.”
Ugh! Well, yeah…I mean, when we got caught, we tried to explain it away. Our final rationale was that the books were there by accident! That’s the memo that I got. Yes, those books were never intended for youths, despite the fact that it’s written right in it that Boston has great services for “queer youth”. When we said “queer youth”, we meant queer adults. And somehow these books, which were meant for adults, ended up in the hands of GLSEN, a youth-oriented homosexual organization. And then, if that were happenstance enough, the aforementioned organization accidentally distributed taxpayer funded, adult-themed materials at a youth event! It could have happened to anybody.
Camenker goes on to explain about his fight in the Massachusetts legislature concerning schools:
“And it’s always a battle. The homosexual activists do not want parents knowing what goes on. They do not want parents opting out their kids. They’ve testified on several occasions that parents being able to opt out their kids, they consider dangerous and intolerant.”
And it is! Parents have no right to decide how their children are educated. They don’t even have a right to know what’s being taught, much less to object to the lessons and have their children removed. Because if they had that right, we might not be able to indoctrinate their children.
We will decide what everyone else’s children learn. And trust me, it won’t be reading, writing, history, civics, or science. Heaven knows that the public schools fail miserably to teach any of those subjects, as test results have confirmed. Nope, we’re in there to teach kids about “lickin’ butt” and where to find all the best gay bars in Beantown. For some reason, we do a great job of educating kids on that subject. Kids graduating from high school today may not be able to read their diplomas, but at least they know how to put on a condom!
Brian Camenker just doesn’t get it. I bet he’s secretly gay. Everyone knows that homophobes are themselves repressed homosexuals. Only a black-hearted, evil, hateful man could object to the materials we distribute. I mean seriously, what’s wrong with a little instruction on piss play? Why shouldn’t students be taught how to avoid “getting dookie on your noodle”? Is Brian Camenker pro-dookie on the noodle?
Anyway, I thought I’d share this dangerous H8 filled propaganda video with my audience. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to call the suicide hotline.