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Archive for September, 2011

Enemy of the state suspended in Fort Worth

Thought crimes abound at Western Hills High School in Fort Worth, Texas. The school recently gave an in-house suspension to fourteen year old Dakota Ary, an honors student, varsity athlete, and Christian, for commenting to another student in class that “being a homosexual is wrong”.

Western Hills High School. Remember to check your rights at the door!

Dakota’s teacher immediately rebuked the young homophobe, losing his temper and yelling, then sent him to the office where he was given a two day in-house suspension. Tell me, has the school been to lenient? I mean, how about we waterboard him until he tells us about the rest of his homophobe network?

Predictably, the right wing has gone ballistic, claiming that the kids’ “first amendment” rights were violated. When are these people going to learn that the first amendment does not protect speech that hurts my feelings?

Now, don’t get me wrong. Whenever statist thugs use the force of law to censor Christians in other countries, I always tell those right-wingers to calm down because that can’t happen here. We have a first amendment. For example, when Ake Green was arrested out of his pulpit in Sweden for preaching against homosexuality, I told conservatives to cut it out with the alarmism because we have a first amendment and that can’t happen here. When an LGBTQXYZ police officer in England arrested street preacher Dale McAlpline for for reading from his Bible that homosexuality is a sin, I told these nutty conservatives to take a chill pill because that can’t happen in America.

But then when it actually does happen in America, I applaud it. I will argue that such comments aren’t really protected by the first amendment because…well, because I say so. That’s why.

The first amendment is very clear on this subject. Let me quote it:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech (except when protecting the feelings of homosexuals who need constant affirmation or else they tend to kill themselves), or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Come to think of it, this is just like using the N-word. Yes, when Dakota turned around and mentioned to another student that he thinks that homosexuality is wrong, that’s the same as chasing a black kid down the hall and yelling racial epithets at him.

Dakota Ary, public enemy and threat to public safety. His existence makes me want to kill myself. And if I kill myself, it will be Dakota's fault, as well as the fault of his school for not restricting his free speech.

See if you can follow my logic here. It’s a little bit circuitous, I know. I read it in my official gay talking points memo I got from Kevin Jennings. Sodomy is basically equivalent to having black skin. You’re just going to have to take my word for that, okay? I don’t know how a person’s sexual behaviors somehow equate to race and I can’t even prove that the desires to commit such behaviors are inborn–not that it would matter if they were–but skin color and buttfucking are basically the same thing. And then, a mildly phrased opinion about such behavior is the same as inflammatory racial name-calling.

In the end, when I compare the Dakota’s opinion about my sex life to racism, what I’m really saying is that we’ve already surrendered out rights to speak freely on matters of race. And I want the same gag rule extended to negative opinions of homosexuality as well.

Okay, so the truth is that I just don’t think that Christians have any rights. There isn’t a single scenario I can think of in which I would ever side with a Christian who objects to homosexuality. I will always invent new rationalizations for why the Christian must be gagged. Just give me a new scenario and I will give you a new rationalization. I can do this all day; try me.

I agree with Chai R. Feldblum, the lesbian activist recently appointed by President Obama (peace be upon him) to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. She’s a great legal mind. Says Feldblum:

“There can be a conflict between religious liberty and sexual liberty. But in almost all cases the sexual liberty should win because that’s the only way that the dignity of gay people can be affirmed in any realistic manner.”

That’s true. And the major difference of course is that the Constitution is chock full of sexual rights–the right to take it in the poopchute, the right to anonymous hookups in the bushes in Central Park–but is oddly silent about matters of religious liberty. Ergo, my sexual freedoms must trump some one else’s religious freedoms. In fact, my right to exercise my sexual freedoms without negative judgements trumps religious freedom. That means that you’re not allowed to think bad things about me just because I’m a sodomite.

Chai Feldblum, homosexual activist and all around gay bully. We owe her a debt of gratitude.

When asked under what circumstances she believes religious liberty should take precedence, Feldblum replied:

“I’m having a hard time coming up with any case in which religious liberty should win.”

Unfortunately, the kid went out and got a lawyer from the gay-hating Liberty Counsel. I say that Liberty Counsel hates gays because it refuses to compromise on first amendment freedoms just to spare the delicate feelings of butt pirates like me. Enter Matt Krause, a self-styled “first amendment attorney”. He calls himself that because he takes up cases that involve the defense of first amendment rights, which, as we’ve already established, Christofascist H8ers like Dakota Ary are not entitled to.

Matt Krause on the Ary case:

“Students don’t lose their first amendment rights just because they go in the schoolhouse doors.”

Krause is of course quoting the majority opinion from the landmark Supreme Court case Tinker v. Des Moines. In it, several high school students sued their school because they were suspended for wearing black arm bands to school to protest the Vietnam War. The students won their case.

In the majority opinion, the court found that a school may limit speech, but it must

“be able to show that [their] action was caused by something more than a mere desire to avoid the discomfort and unpleasantness that always accompany an unpopular viewpoint.”

Which clearly this was! I mean, it was offensive! And to drag out my catch-all, speech restricting, thought-stopping weapon of mass destruction…SOME KID MIGHT KILL HIMSELF! Yep, that’s basically what my argument boils down to–our first amendment rights must be curtailed or else some kid might blow his brains out. I will continue to exploit acts of suicide for the purposes of censorship until the cows come home.

If other people are allowed to hold differing opinions, some gay kid might kill himself.

By the way, don’t get cute with me and ask if I think we should suspend our constitutional rights every time a Christian kills himself. This doesn’t work both ways. And besides, the suicide rates for pickle-smoochers is much higher than for Christians, which I think might be because Christians are well-adjusted, mentally balanced people and homosexuals are batshit crazy emotional basketcases.

As I read more into this case, I was thrilled to find that the teacher was himself a member of the LGBTQXYZ community! Can anyone find out if the gentleman is single? His blatant homosexual fascism is such a turn-on! I get hard every time I think about an adult teacher bullying a fourteen year old Christian honor student. It’s so GAY-STAPO of him.

Like most gay teachers, this particular unnamed educator brings his advocacy to work with him. He’s a change agent! He considers it his job to seek out kids like Dakota and reform their wayward thinking. That’s spectacular.

“There has been a history with this teacher in the class regarding homosexual topic. The teacher had posted a picture of two men kissing on a wall that offended some of the students.”

That’s great. I can see how that ties into German. Sure. I’m sure he put it there because it has some relationship to German, and not because he is himself a homosexual and he has an agenda to push.

“He told the students this is happening all over the world and you need to accept the fact that homosexuality is just part of our culture now.”

So homosexuality was a frequent topic in this teacher’s German class, which is really a great development. I took German for a semester or two back in high school just because I wanted to learn how to read Mein Kampf in the original German. All the goose-stepping and the gayness in the SA really turned me on. I also admired Hitler’s militant atheism and the LGBTQXYZ members of his staff like Ernst Roehm. And guess what? My German teacher never even touched on the topic of homosexuality. We learned verb conjugation, vocabulary, adjective endings, cases, word order, and tenses. What we should have been talking about was gayness in Germany.

I can completely understand why homosexuality might be a frequent topic in German class. After all, some people in Germany are homosexual. Some people in Germany are also vegetarian, but we don’t spend time in German class talking about that. Some people in Germany are also into Scheisse porn, but we don’t spend time talking about that. Some people in Germany are also Jehovah’s Witnesses, but we don’t spend class time talking about that.

But we do talk about homosexuality, loudly and often. We ALWAYS portray it in a good light, and discussion is only permitted if you agree with the teacher and his opinion. Otherwise, STFU or we’ll suspend you for two days.

Weaving homosexuality into any class is as easy as 1-2-3. Let’s see…French class? Yes, there are gays in France. So let’s talk about gayness in France. Biology? People are just born gay, get over it. History? Abe Lincoln was gay and so was Alexander Hamilton! English Lit? How about we read some of the books from the GLSEN teen reading list that include gay sex between teachers and students?

http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/sunday-commentary/20091210-Rod-Dreher-GLSEN-s-toxic-7559.ece

This game is easier than playing six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Seriously, I can tie gayness to virtually anything. It appears that this particular teacher did just that. Western Hills High School hired him to teach German, but he had other ideas.

Sadly, it appears that the school is backing down. After a lot of whining from his bitchy Christian mother, Dakota was let off with just one day of in-school suspension. Still, she won’t shut up about her son’s “constitutional rights”.

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Known H8 group rolls out H8-ful video aimed at the H8er community

As progressive as we Bay Staters are, some vestiges of the “pro-family” movement do exist here in Massachusetts. Exhibit “A” is the group MassResistance. They’re hateful because they keep following us around and showing people what we’re really up to. They should stop doing that.

The Southern Poverty Law Center lists MassResistance as a hate group. That means that they’re bad. The logic goes something like this–the SPLC has spent years battling the KKK and similar white supremacist groups. These days they’ve fixed their sites on MassResistance. That means that MassResistance is the equivalent of the KKK. See how that argumentation works?

I can’t believe that a known hate group like MassResistance is allowed to exist in my state. Once the SPLC declares it a hate group, we should be able to outlaw their existence. Right?

It just makes me so upset. Maybe if I threatened to kill myself, the government would take some action against them. I’ve noticed that every time gay people don’t get their way, they threaten to blow their brains out. It’s been shown to be highly effective.  Other people’s free speech rights are trumped by our emotional outbursts of self-loathing. I’m very delicate, and I might commit suicide at any moment. It’s easier to police the thoughts of everyone else than for me to just get some damned counseling. After all, if I got counseling, that might suggest that I’m batshit crazy, which I’m not. I’m just an emotional basketcase with same-sex attraction disorder. Many years ago, they used to call people like me “sick”–but those were the dark ages. Now we’re totally normal. The sick people are on the other side.

MassResistance has teamed up with another hate group, the Family Research Council, to make a short film on the “gay agenda”. Ha! Ha! As if we have some kind of agenda. Our only agenda is equality. And we have to brainwash your kids in order to do that.

I wouldn’t want to promote their film, but I’ll post here. I’d like to address some of the points that they make in the film.

The film features known hompophobe Brian Camenker, head of MassResistance. In case you were wondering, he’s one of those Jews we hate so much. Not that I have a problem with Jews, just as long as they don’t practice Judaism, which Camenker does. It’s okay to be Jewish, just so long as you submit a written proposal to me concerning your religious beliefs. I’ll decide what you may believe and what you may not. If I find your beliefs to be hateful, that means that I can hate your religion and it’s not really a form of bigotry.

Camenker starts in with the “Little Black Book” controversy, which is like, so old. In case you didn’t know, The Little Black Book was a homosexual safe sex publication paid for with taxpayer dollars. I keep a stack of them in my office at the high school here. Its full title is “Little Black Book V 2.0 Queer in the 21st Century”.

As you can see, it’s rather mild. It’s just telling gay teenagers to hang in there and not to hate themselves.

http://www.article8.org/docs/news_events/glsen_043005/black_book/black_book_inside.htm

Well, not really. It does offers advice on: “Fuckin'”, “Suckin'”, “Rimming? (Lickin’ Butt)”, “Water Sports (piss play)” as well as “Fisting”. I get upset whenever anyone suggests that gay men like to lick each others’ assholes. That’s so untrue. But just in case that’s your thing, here’s a little advice on how to do it, and how to do it safely. See? We’re not perverts, we just want to make sure no one gets hurt while eating another guy’s butthole. Any one who thinks that the best way to avoid the risks of butt-hole licking is to avoid the practice entirely is just out of touch and in denial about the realities of human sexuality.

I have to take issue with the section on fisting, however.

“What makes fisting risky when it comes to diseases is that the blood vessels in the rectum are close to the surface which means damage can occur easily and go unnoticed. Avoid too much alcohol or drugs when you fist or get fisted…Trauma can increase the risk of HIV when you get fucked, so you might want to do your fucking before fisting. Use lots of lubes, condoms, and latex gloves.”

The reason I object to it is because it points out that shoving objects up your ass tends to break blood vessels. It almost makes it sound as if sodomy is dangerous and unhealthy. I don’t want to hear stuff like that because I rather enjoy having objects shoved in my rectum. It’s not an essential body part needed for removing waste, it’s my personal play toy. I stick all sorts of things up there and I don’t want to hear about “trauma”.  Then again, that goes a long way in explaining why I have bruising and bleeding around my asshole.

I also object to another part of the pamphlet that says that it’s “a great time” to be gay.

Excuse me? Somebody better tell the writer of this pamphlet to get back on script. We’re enjoying “more visibility and acceptance”? I don’t think so. I mean, we’re actually overrepresented on TV and no one is allowed to say a disparaging word about us, but so what? We’re still an oppressed minority. It’s never “a great time to be gay” because society shuns us. We are hated for our love! There are still a few people left in society who don’t trip over themselves to tell us how great it is that we sleep with people of the same sex. And that means that millions of gay kids are at risk. Some of them might kill themselves. So STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT IT’S A GREAT TIME TO BE GAY, otherwise people might stop feeling sorry for us. And then how would be get special treatment?

Okay, but other than those two minor peccadilloes, I think the pamphlet is great. And yes, we were handing it out to high school students. Heck, it was targeted to high school students. Why do you think we mentioned that Boston has “lots of services for queer youths”?

But here’s the thing…no one was supposed to find out that we were handing these out to their children! But MassResistance had to go poking its nose in our business. They found out we were bringing our homosexual promotional tour to Brookline High School and they crashed the event, undercover. They like to do that. They don’t reveal themselves as the homophobes that they are because then we might not reveal ourselves as the perverts that we are.

So we lied about it. In the video, Camenker explains GLSEN’s reaction to the Little Black Book.

“Immediately, they [GLSEN] put out a press release saying that we [MassResistance] had planted the book there. Then in about a day later, they said ‘No, we [MassResistance] didn’t really plant the book. It really was there, but there were only a few copies there.’ And then they finally admitted, ‘yeah there were a bunch of copies there’. But they were going to try to make sure that they were not there again. We’ve since seen this at other events.”

Ugh! Well, yeah…I mean, when we got caught, we tried to explain it away. Our final rationale was that the books were there by accident! That’s the memo that I got. Yes, those books were never intended for youths, despite the fact that it’s written right in it that Boston has great services for “queer youth”. When we said “queer youth”, we meant queer adults. And somehow these books, which were meant for adults, ended up in the hands of GLSEN, a youth-oriented homosexual organization. And then, if that were happenstance enough, the aforementioned organization accidentally distributed taxpayer funded, adult-themed materials at a youth event! It could have happened to anybody.

Brian Camenker, homophobe and head of MassResistance. His organization has a habit of following us around and exposing to the world the things that we do. And because we're embarassed by our activities, we don't want him to do that.

Camenker goes on to explain about his fight in the Massachusetts legislature concerning schools:

“And it’s always a battle. The homosexual activists do not want parents knowing what goes on. They do not want parents opting out their kids. They’ve testified on several occasions that parents being able to opt out their kids, they consider dangerous and intolerant.”   

And it is! Parents have no right to decide how their children are educated. They don’t even have a right to know what’s being taught, much less to object to the lessons and have their children removed. Because if they had that right, we might not be able to indoctrinate their children.

We will decide what everyone else’s children learn. And trust me, it won’t be reading, writing, history, civics, or science. Heaven knows that the public schools fail miserably to teach any of those subjects, as test results have confirmed. Nope, we’re in there to teach kids about “lickin’ butt” and where to find all the best gay bars in Beantown. For some reason, we do a great job of educating kids on that subject. Kids graduating from high school today may not be able to read their diplomas, but at least they know how to put on a condom!

Brian Camenker just doesn’t get it. I bet he’s secretly gay. Everyone knows that homophobes are themselves repressed homosexuals. Only a black-hearted, evil, hateful man could object to the materials we distribute. I mean seriously, what’s wrong with a little instruction on piss play? Why shouldn’t students be taught how to avoid “getting dookie on your noodle”? Is Brian Camenker pro-dookie on the noodle?

Anyway, I thought I’d share this dangerous H8 filled propaganda video with my audience. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to call the suicide hotline.

World-renowned homosexual bully pens anti-bullying children’s book

Noted blogger and celebrity jock-sniffer Perez Hilton (ne Mario Lavandeira, Jr) released an anti-bullying children’s book this month entitled “The Boy with the Pink Hair”. Hilton says that he is the “perfect person to write a children’s book” because:

“I’m somebody who made mistakes in the past, acknowledged them, and has taken steps to no longer do that and I think that’s a great message for children. In the past I was definitely meaner, nasty, give people unpleasant nicknames, draw lots of nice things on photos. But then, last year there were all these gay teenagers who were committing suicide… A lot of people were calling me a hypocrite and a bully myself. That’s not who I am in my heart.”

I happen to agree that he’s a great person to write such a book. Not because he was once an asshole and now he’s not, but because he’s a cum-guzzler with an ax to grind just like me.

Perez with his new book. I'm glad that Barnes & Noble is allowing him to push the homosexual agenda to children. We can ALWAYS count on Corporate America.

Gay people are obsessed with children. I know I am. That’s why I became a guidance counselor–because I wanted to form the attitudes of the next generation, and hopefully their sexuality too. Not that you can “recruit” children into the gay lifestyle, as these paranoid Christofascists seem to think. Believe me, I’ve tried and had very limited success. Unfortunately, there are some mean ol’ conservative H8ers who don’t like me to teach their children about sexuality, much less to impart upon them value judgments about sexuality. But those people are BIGOTS and we need to indoctrinate their children against their will.

Fortunately, half of the faculty at my school is LGBTQXYZ in nature, so there’s just no escaping the homosexual propaganda in every classroom. Each morning we say the pledge of allegiance…to the rainbow flag! Ha! Ha! Even the straight people are in on it because we’ve already fired all of the teachers who don’t want to participate in the gay public relations campaign. Some gay kid in Ohio killed himself so we just blamed it all on them and told them that he’d still be alive today if it weren’t for bigoted teachers.

Our agenda is weaved into every subject. We have LGBTQXYZ history (Did you know that Lincoln was GAY?!), LGBTQXYZ health classes (now make sure you wash your hands before and after fisting), LGBTQXYZ science classes (some people are born with a gay gene–haven’t found it yet, but we will!). We even have LGBTQXYZ themed word problems in the math classes–if Billy and Joey have six fluid ounces of Fire & Ice butt lube…oh wait, never mind.

We have to get the children while they’re young. That’s why one elementary school administrator in my state said:

“The goal is to reach kids before they absorb their parents’ values. By middle school it’s too late.”

I agree. So it’s best to start when they’re still playing with GI Joe’s and stuff.  Otherwise, their parents might have a say in forming their concept of morality, and we can’t allow that because then some people might raise their children to believe the wrong things. Ergo, this kind of moral formation must be the sole domain of the government and must be conducted by homosexual activists like me. Now do you see why I became a guidance counselor?

Our campaign to teach the next generation of children about something that their parents object to has been wildly successful. That’s why we should keep it up. In the mean time, we should just keep threatening our opponents that they should change sides because they should be “on the right side of history.”

We’re going to teach your children and grandchildren to hate you. And you don’t want to be hated…do you?

Sean Penn hit the nail on the head in his Oscar acceptance speech for the awesome movie “Milk” that won a whole bunch of awards even though nobody went to see it. It grossed barely $58 million. Over the course of its opening week, it was the 18th most watched movie in America. Even “Mall Cop” trounced “Milk” at the box office. My husband Michael and I went to see it and I think we were the only ones in the theater, which was fine because we like to engage in public sex acts.

Sean Penn at the Oscars. Your grandchildren will hate you if you oppose the gay agenda. So stop opposing it and you will be the hero.

Said Penn:

“I think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect, and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.”

Right on, Sean Penn!

Perez Hilton’s children’s book is entitled “The Boy With the Pink Hair”. The very first line  should give you an inkling 0f the not-so-subtle agenda contained therein–“He was born that way”.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. “Born that way” is our rallying cry, the message that we will never surrender. Think Lady Gaga. When you accept the fact that we’re just “born that way”, suddenly sexual behavior becomes something akin to race, height, or even…hair color? Yes, sodomy is kind of like being born with red hair and freckles. Or pink hair and freckles for that matter. And having a moral objection to two boys sodomizing each other is kind of like hating a ginger for having red hair. No, no, it’s worse! It’s kind of like lynching black people. It’s important to stress that any type of moral objection is actually disguised hate.

Any adult who reads it can tell that “pink hair” is really a stand-in for homosexual tendencies. Luckily, the target audience (six year olds) probably wouldn’t pick up on this, which is great. Stealth is always required when we’re trying to teach people things that we shouldn’t be.

The Boy with the Pink Hair is really nice kid. He doesn’t like the rough games the boys play, but instead enjoys cooking. So his parents build him a treehouse with a kitchen. But still, the boy feels alone and different. He dreams of a  “a school where everyone had different colored hair. All together, it looked like a rainbow.” And you know how much we like rainbows.

So it’s basically about being yourself. And by being yourself, he means being a homosexual, of course. If it feels good, do it.

I know that I secretly struggled with being different when I was a kid. I used to dream of being a girl, with ribbons in my hair and lacy white underwear. Wouldn’t it be great if I could try out for the cheerleading squad and date the captain of the football team? Well, the both the cheerleading squad and captain of the football team turned me down and I’ve been a moody little bitch like Perez Hilton ever since . I think that’s why I’ve spent my entire life trying to substitute my asshole for a vagina.  Anyway, my wish has gone unfulfilled–I’m still not a girl. And I’m very upset about it.

Did you know that Perez Hilton was once the victim of bullying? Yes, it’s true. He was in Toronto for the 2009 MuchMusic Video Awards.  He bumped into Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas who wanted to know why he was talking trash about her band on his website. Later, he was confronted by BEP frontman, Will.i.am, who got in his face.

Perez shows off his black eye. Wait a second...does he have pink hair? Why yes, he does.

At some point in the scuffle, Perez dropped the F-bomb on Will.i.am. Yes, he called him a faggot. Faggot is such a terrible word. It’s so terrible that we need to amend the Constitution of the United States to prohibit other people’s free speech if they feel like using that word. Every time someone utters it, a gay kid somewhere in the Heartland kills himself. Even if you said it all by yourself in the privacy of your living room while no one was around, some gay kid would still slit his wrists and it would be all. your. fault.

But this was different. It’s kind of the same way African-Americans can use the N-word. It’s different when they do it. Well, Perez has a license to use that word because he’s a gay man just like me. So obviously, it’s okay.

At was at this point that Will.i.am’s manager Polo hauled off and punched Perez Hilton in the face. Yes, he got a black eye from the manager of the Black Eyed Peas. OMG! The horror! Polo punched Perez in his bitchy little face and then Perez cried about it. It really reminds me of my childhood when that happened quite a bit. Except when it happened to me it was usually because I was creeping around the boy’s locker room trying to catch a glimpse of some of the guys’ dongs. Then I got beat up and had my head stuffed in the toilet for a nice swirly.

Anyway, here’s Perez recalling what happened that day. It still brings him to tears:

So it’s fitting that Perez Hilton would write a book about a pink-haired kid who get bullied. Because Perez is also a pink-haired kid who’s been bullied in the past. He’s also been known to bully Christian beauty queens himself, but that’s okay because they’re scum.

Gay military members to discuss deeply personal matter with entire world

As we approach the final demise of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) policy, there is much reason to celebrate. Personally, I wish the policy hadn’t existed when I was a young chap because I was truly compelled out of a strong sense of patriotism to enlist in the United States Navy. Also, I heard about the se(a)men they have and about the pants that zip in the back. But the mean military people wouldn’t let me.

With boys like this, who wouldn't want to join the military? Seriously, though...is it too late?

Well, that’s not exactly true. Actually, I could have joined the military if I had been prepared to simply keep my mouth shut about my sexual activity, but I wasn’t willing to do that. I really wanted to be an “out and proud” in-your-face activist working within the military to further my own personal agenda rather than the mission.  I liked to think of myself as a patriot, but the truth was I wasn’t patriotic enough to do my duty if it meant that I couldn’t also be a “change agent” at the same time. Turned out I was a lot more gay than I was patriotic. After I told my recruiter about my dilemma and complimented him a few times on how his ass looked in that uniform, he told me to get lost.

It was really a sad day for equal rights.

Fortunately, the policy has since been reversed. DADT will officially bite the dust this September 20th. From that day forward, homosexuals can be just as gay as they want to be and nobody better say a word about it or they will be disciplined.

It’s called mutual respect. You know–just the same way we show respect to people of faith when we harass, intimidate, and blacklist them, when we joke about their “magic underwear”, when we tell them that their God hates them and they’re going to hell for being bigots, when we misrepresent their beliefs, when we accuse them of all being a bunch of child molesters, KKK members, and Nazis. Now that’s respect.

I fully expect de facto and de jure special treatment to follow the repeal. It’s only fair–women and minorities get it, and so should pillow-biters. We’re oppressed, and now you owe us.

A new military-themed LGBTQXYZ magazine will appear on PX shelves starting on the very day of the repeal. It’s called “OutServe”. It’s been in existence for several months now, though the military has declined to sell it on base. I bought a copy of it because I want to keep abreast of the challenges that gay military personnel face on a daily basis. Just kidding! I was looking for thinly veiled male prostitute advertisements tucked away in the “personals” section. You know how I like my military boys. (Unfortunately, I didn’t find any.)

OutServe: the new magazine for the LGBTQXYZ military community to sound off about their sexuality as loudly as possible.

The first issue to hit the PX shelves will list the names of over a hundred LGBTQXYZ active duty military members. Rumor has it that ninety-nine of them are  Navy boys and one is a military intelligence analyst who is currently sitting in the brig for betraying his country to a creepy lo0king Australian after having a spat with his drag queen boyfriend.

I’m really glad that gays and lesbians can now be “out”. Because “outness” is what we really wanted. Now, don’t get me wrong–my sexuality is still a very private matter, and that’s what I tell anyone who disapproves of my sodomy.

Mind your own damned business, will you? What does it matter to you what I do in the privacy of my bedroom?

And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense that a personal, private matter like sexuality should be shared with the entire world on the glossy pages of a magazine. I do much the same thing with other private matters.

For example, I had some bad hemorrhoids a few weeks back. Kind of embarassing, certainly a private matter. And the first thing I did was send out a press release to my local newspaper. LOCAL GAY MAN SUFFERS FROM A REALLY BAD CASE OF ‘RHOIDS. Everyone knows that personal matters are always declared as loudly and boldly as possible, preferably in print. After that, I went out and marched in a hemorrhoid pride parade. Yep, they really exist. Even though my hemorrhoids were a private matter, I really felt like walking down Main Street and shouting to everyone I saw that I have hemorrhoids. Then I went out and slapped a bumper sticker on my car that said, ‘I have hemorrhoids and I VOTE’. I delved into the hemorrhoid positive side of the blogosphere.  I have since joined a professional organization for hemorrhoid sufferers. I’m a guidance counselor, so I joined the National Organization of Guidance Counselors Suffering from Hemorrhoids (NOGCSFH).

Okay, so I can’t tell a lie this big with a straight face. The truth is that we homosexuals have never wanted to be left alone, we have never wanted our private lives to remain private. If that’s all we had wanted, we would have been totally satisfied with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. After all, we wouldn’t want anyone to ask us about such a personal matter, and we certainly wouldn’t want to tell anyone about such a personal matter either.

Prior to the 1993 policy change, the military did ask and service members were expected to tell. Right there on the enlistment forms, all recruits were asked if they were homosexuals. I know a guy who joined the Marines prior to DADT and he tells me that when he arrived at Parris Island the D.I.’s asked him over and over again the same question in a hundred different ways–“Are you a peter-puffer? Do you suck dick?”

Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann (R. Lee Ermy): "Are you a peter-puffer? Do you suck dick?" "Sir! No, sir!" "Bullshit! I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"

But after 1993, they stopped asking. And we still weren’t satisfied because keeping our sexuality private was NEVER our goal. To the contrary! Being a loud and proud queer is exactly what we wanted, and we wanted to do it within the United States military. For more on loud and proud queers, just type Lieutenant (sic) Dan Choi  into any search engine.

DADT was simply a stepping stone toward our actual goal. You see, some gay genius came up with a spectacular slogan that has worked like gangbusters to change public opinion on the topic of butt-stabbing. You may have heard it. It goes: “What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom is no one else’s business.”

It appealed to the libertarian side of the American center. It happened to be bullshit, but it was highly affective bullshit, so we ran with it. The slogan had the affect of portraying our opponents as the aggressors. We just want to be left alone in the privacy our own bedrooms, but these people want to break down our doors to find out what we’re doing in here.

Despite the fact that we were making aggressive thrusts into their sphere, we made it look as if the opposite were true. And then we repeated this slogan over and over again, whenever gayness was at issue. We cited the old “privacy of their bedroom” argument when talking about gay marriage, as if people get married in their bedrooms. No, a marriage contract is a public recognition of a relationship. We want an official marriage certificate from the state precisely because we want to get the government involved in our amorous relationships. If we wanted them to stay out of it, we’d never want to get married! We’d just shack up and go about our lives.

These two women just want people to butt out what they do as two consenting adults in the privacy of their own bedroom. That's why they're making out in the middle of the street while representing the Navy on their t-shirts. Why people have to pry into their sex lives, I don't know.

And now here we are in 2011. The private bedroom behavior of consenting (military) adults is no longer private. It’s proclaimed boldly in the pages of OutServe. Now that’s what I call progress!

Hey, did you hear that Sergeant Jones takes it in the poopchute? Yeah, I read it in this magazine. Shhh! I don’t think he wants anyone to know. He’s a very private person and besides, it doesn’t even matter.

And thus, it begins. Give it time, and we’ll have gay pride marches and gay bars on military bases, special services for gay veterans, special recruiting materials just to get gays to enlist. We’ll force military personnel to march in gay parades just the same way we’ve already forced firemen in San Diego and Providence to do the same thing. We’ll have gay affirmative action programs like we have here in the Massachusetts state government. We’ll require all of the services to have at least one LGBTQXYZ three star general/admiral by a certain date just the same way we did with women. And then we’ll require chaplains to perform gay marriages against their will. We’ll discipline soldiers of faith for holding opinions we don’t like.

Gayness will be ubiquitous kind of like it is on college campuses. Because anything less than ubiquitous homosexuality constitutes an intrusion into the private bedroom behavior of consenting adults.

We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!

These pedophiles are stealing our schtick. Good for them.

These pedophiles are stealing our schtick. As you may have heard, the push is on to get pedophilia removed the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

This should recall shades of the 70’s era gay rights movement when teaming hordes of pissy homosexuals crashed APA conferences and demanded that their sexuality be legitimized. They pioneered the tactic of threatening and shouting down anyone who opposed them. It took a few years of bullying psychiatrists but they eventually relented and removed same-sex attraction disorder (SSAD) from the DSM. Thank goodness.

These days, we’ve got the APA stuffed to the gills with LGBTQXYZ advocates who masquerade as non-partisan professionals. Many of them are homosexuals themselves! And as we know, homosexuals have no ax to grind in the homosexuality debate. Their research is in no way tainted by the fact that they are, themselves, practitioners of the same sexual proclivities that they’re studying with a dispassionate and unbiased eye. The APA even endorsed marriage equality…unanimously!

If these pedophiles are smart, they’ll do the same thing. When you stack the field  with people who already agree with you, “the experts” will always be on your side. They will write papers, publish books, and conduct experiments that all come to your predetermined conclusions! 

It appears that the child molesting community has since discovered that they may need to take a similar course of action if they’re ever going to remove the stigma associated with raping little children. Once the psychiatric community decides that your behavior no longer constitutes a mental disorder, the flood gates are open! Not that I support that. I mean, child molesters are bad. And stuff.

B4U-ACT, a Maryland-based organization of psychiatric practitioners, recently sponsored a conference that addressed the issue of how to destigmatize pedophilia. The conference was attended by Christofascist loser Matt Barber of the fringe right-wing Liberty Counsel Action. Any group that would take offense at a pedophilia conference is obviously a hate group. I checked the Southern Poverty Law Center website to see if these people have yet been identified as a hate group, and I they aren’t. But they should be.

Right-wing bigot Matt Barber says that he felt he was “on another planet”. Speakers at the conference openly endorsed the removal of pedophilia from the DSM. Said Barber:

“The entire focus of the event was on the victimhood of the pedophile.”

Well, yeah. I’ve heard that all of the hate that society heaps on child molesters really makes them feel bad. Somebody has to stand up for them. Leave it up to Barber to malign this group for the crime of compassion. Only a real douchebag would fault these caring professionals for trying to remove the stigma associated with pedophilia. I say we charge Barber with murder if any child molesters end up killing themselves because of the shame bigots thrust upon them.

I wanted to find out more about this group so I sought out their website. Yes, they have one: http://b4uact.org/

Even though homosexuality and pedophilia bear no relation to each other–and the societal acceptance of the former will have no effect on the societal acceptance of the latter–the organization seems to be using the gay rights movement as a precedent. Odd. Dr. Fred Berlin, as quoted on their website:

“Just as has been the case historically with homosexuality, society is currently addressing the matter of pedophilia with a balance that is far more heavily weighted on the side of criminal justice solutions than on the side of mental health solutions.”

Just has been the case with homosexuality? Whoa! There’s no comparison there. It’s almost as if homosexuality is paving the way for all sorts of other perversions to become normalized, something that I insisted would never happen. Well, I can forgive Dr. Berlin in this instance because I know that he’s not a Christofascist who would try to use the linkage as a weapon against us.  

B4U-ACT appeals to the child molesters directly:

“You may be looking for mental health services to deal with anxiety, depression, anger, or other factors either unrelated to your sexuality or resulting from society’s stereotypes and reactions to your sexual feelings.”

Yes, society has a lot of stereotypes about child molesters. Like that they’re sick, for example. And once we remove pedophilia as a sickness from the DSM, it just won’t be a sickness anymore. Anyone who still claims that it’s a sickness will be a science-hater. And you don’t want to be a science-hater…do you? Psychiatrists who still diagnose and treat pedophilia as a sickeness will have their licenses revoked. In other words, we’ll just do to them what we’ve done to people who still believe that homosexuality is a mental disorder. It worked like gangbusters for us, so why not?

I’m sure that child molesters also deal with a lot of depression and anger as a result of society’s deep-rooted prejudices. As a victim of such prejudices myself, I can attest to the pain of not being validated. That’s what I desire more than anything else. I need people to tell me over and over again that my sexual behavior is healthy, normal, and beautiful.

The idea that someone, somewhere, is harboring the slightest disapproval of what I do is enough to make me want to kill myself. That’s why we need to police the beliefs of others and punish free speech–so that fragile people like me won’t off themselves. I threaten to kill myself at the drop of a hat. Just this morning I had to call the suicide hotline after I got out of bed and saw that the sky was cloudy. Every time I don’t get my way I tell my opponent that he’s murdering gay people with his mean attitudes.

Does anyone know the suicide rate for child molesters? It must be astronomically high. There’s only one way to lower that statistic and that’s a full-court press propaganda campaign to push pedophilia into the mainstream. It has to be everywhere, at all times, loud, and in your face.

The appeal to child molesters continues: 

“Or you may be wondering how to live life fully and stay within the law.”

See? So they want to help child piddlers stay within the law. We certainly wouldn’t want them to get in trouble. That’s the concern, not the safety of children, and certainly not the immorality of having sex with minors.

And when you think about it, laws can be changed. When the National Coalition of Gay Organizations laid out its platform at its 1972 convention, they specifically demanded the “Repeal of all laws governing the age of consent.” Looking back on the historic document, I can see that they’ve achieved almost everything on their to-do list. Only a few items–such as the abolition of age of consent laws–still remain to be done.

http://www.robertslevinson.com/gaylesissues/features/collect/onetime/bl_platform1972.htm

In Britain, the rainbow brigades have succeeded in lowering the age of consent for homosexual relations from twenty-one to eighteen, then again from eighteen to sixteen. Peter Tatchell of Britain’s OutRage! group is now pressing for fourteen as the age of consent for both homosexual and heterosexual relations. And who knows if they’ll be finished then? Eleven sounds pretty good. How about eight?

Peter Tatchell of Britain's OutRage! He's a giant in the British wing of the gay rights movement. He wants the age of consent to be lowered to fourteen. Tatchell argues that lowering the age of consent will reduce the incidence of child sexual abuse. So legalizing child sexual abuse is the best way to root it out. Makes sense to me.

Incrimentalism is a wonderful thing. Society would never swallow the whole turd if we force-fed it to them in one bite, so let’s spoon it to them one morsel at a time.

As you can see, “staying within the law” is kind of moving target. All we have to do is change the law and it becomes much easier for these people to “live life fully” while staying within it.

Let’s get on it!

This just in: As I’ve read further about this organization, it’s come to my attention that the operations director of B4U-ACT, Richard Kramer, is a self-described “boy lover”. He has written a wonderful letter to the editor of a pro-pedophilia organization, yearning for the good old days of the 1970’s when there wasn’t such an unthinking kneejerk reaction to men having sex with boys. He uses the word “we” when speaking of BL’s (boy lovers) and GL’s (girl lovers).

“The fundamental issue we need to address is the defense of our humanity. We need to confront the stigmatization, demonization, and stereotyping that exists due simply to our attraction to children or adolescents, regardless of our behavior. To do this, we need to be honest about our sexuality.”

I am not surprised. Not in the least. If there’s one thing that Kramer learned well from the example gays have bequethed him, it’s that opposition to your agenda can best be combatted by infiltrating the opposing camp and neutralizing them from the inside. That’s how we dealt with  the APA when they called our sexuality a pathology, and now he’s trying it as well. With any luck, he’ll soon be infilitrating the schools and churches.

Mr. Kramer can be reached here:  (443) 547-4061  DIRECTOR@b4uact.org

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