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Three cheers for New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. He’s putting his checkbook where his mouth is, donating the maximum amount allowed under law ($10,300) to four Republican senators who voted “yes” on marriage equality.  Forbes.com lists Michael Bloomberg as the twenty-third richest billionaire in the world with a net worth of $18 billion. He’s only a few places behind the Waltons of the Wal-Mart fortune. Bloomberg could probably scrounge up ten grand from the couch cushions in his mansion.

Without these four senators, the bill would not have passed. The vote turned out 33-29, in favor of marriage equality. If those four senators had been on the other side, the vote would have been 29-33, in favor of discrimination against homosexuals. So it’s nice to know that Michael Bloomberg’s bribes secured our victory.  Just call him Mr. Moneybags.


Wait, did I say bribes? Well, let’s not make bribery sound like a bad thing in all situations. While the line between a bribe and a campaign donation is usually a thin one, there is usually a general rule of thumb that can be applied to tell the difference. A bribe is given quid pro quo. You vote the way I want on this bill and I’ll write you a check. You defy me and there will be no money for you. That’s the difference between a campaign donation and a bribe.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg makes the case for marriage equality. And when you can’t persuade with arguments, it helps to just buy people off. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Money has a very persuasive effect. Bloomberg is a good Jew. We like this Jew.

Mayor Bloomberg had to resort to bribery to acheive his ends. So what? Bribery for a good cause is no vice. When you understand that marriage inequality is akin to Jim Crow–again, just to make the ridiculous comparison between myself and black people one more time–bribery doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. What if a really rich New York liberal had written checks to Southern Democrats, in order to get them to switch sides? See, so bribery is okay when you occupy the position of absolute righteousness that we do. In fact, anything goes.

“The mayor said he would support Senate Republicans who stood up – and he did,” said top Bloomberg aide Micah Lasher. Bloomberg supported them with a cash donation in exchange for their votes. It was understood by all parties involved that the campaign donations came with one condition. And they all jumped on the deal like the political whores that they are. Good for them!

Rabbi Leiter of Jews for Decency walks and talks with Republican Senator James Alesi, one of the Republicans who flip-flopped on the issue after he smelled a campaign donation. Good thing he listened to the Jew with the big checkbook rather than the Jew with the beard and the silly hat. Money talks, bitches!

Senator James Alesi, for example, was against the bill right up until June 13th, fewer than ten days before the vote. He was invited to Manhattan, wooed from every angle, and eventually recanted his previous opposition to marriage equality, offering his apologies for ever being against it. So bribery is pretty effective. Man, it took a lot of courage for Senator Alesi to vote for marriage equality. When I think of people who abandon their values and dance for Mayor Bloomberg’s cash, I think ‘Wow that took balls’. There’s nothing more courageous than selling out for cash.   
Money has always been the homosexual lobby’s secret weapon. Not only are gays superrich, so are our straight friends–ie. Michael Bloomberg. We love to brag about the taxes we pay and how we’re owed something because of it. We all know that that’s secret code for, “We got money, we got power”. It’s easier to just buy off politicians than it is to win hearts and minds.
We always manage to raise more money for our side, yet lose the vote. At least when the vote is put to the people, which is something we should never do. We must never vote on civil rights. Wait a second, didn’t we vote on civil right in New York last month and weren’t we thrilled? Okay, let me rephrase that. We must never vote on civil rights–not unless we can guarantee the result with a large infusion of cash.
The cash gap always favors us. In California, we raised $44.1 million to oppose Prop H8. The H8ers raised $38.7 million. (We later complained that many of their donors were from–gasp!–out of state, but of course our out of state money exceeded theirs). In Maine, our side raised $5.7 million and their side $3.4 million.
If only we could have written ten thousand dollar checks to each and every voter in California and Maine. It’s much easier to just bribe four senators. Bribery works wonders in a legislature. It’s much less effective when applied to a ballot question. So let’s make sure that marriage equality never ends up on the ballot, anywhere.
Thank goodness for wealthy fags and their big checkbooks.    

Comments on: "It takes courage to stand up for marriage equality. Bribes help too." (11)

  1. Wow you’re not only a homophobe, you’re apparently also a rabid anti-Semite, way to go man!

    And I don’t think it’s bribery when you’re promising donations in response to the GOP establishment’s threat of withholding funding and pulling their support and endorsements.

    • I don’t hate Jews. Just the churchy Jews. I have no problem at all with Jews as long as they don’t practice Judaism. See my previous post: https://twogaybullies.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/i-%e2%99%a5-ny-the-jews-not-so-much/

      Also, I am definitely NOT a homophobe. I’m gayer than cum on a moustache.

      But you’re right about one thing. A check written in exchange for a vote is NOT a bribe. Okay, I can’t say that with a straight face. The senators switched sides for cash, which sound kind of like bribery.

      Let’s face it. It’s a bribe, but I don’t care and neither do you. Nor should we care. Bloomberg was only buyng our democracy with his enormous fortune, but he was doing it for virtuous reasons. He was only paying people to vote the way we wanted them to, so it’s okay. I’m pro-bribery, you’re pro-bribery, Bloomberg’s pro-bribery, and so are four GOP senators. Brave GOP senators, I should say.

      I really like how you’re faking people out with the “queer Christian” name. Ha! Ha! I bet that one really upsets the Christofascists, doesn’t it? I do the same thing. Personally, I’m an anti-theist, but that doesn’t stop me from going to Christian websites and pretending that I’m a deeply devout Christian who just happens to be gay. I like to quote the three verses of scripture that I’ve learned that somehow prove that Christianity is compatible with homosexuality. Then I accuse them of being bad Christians because they “hate” me and “judge” me.

      “When Jesus comes back he’s going to punish all of you homophobes!” That’s my message.

      Cool blog though. Nice fakeout.

  2. Again, unless you can prove that none of these Senators actually believe in marriage equality (yes I know it’s hard to believe, but some people really DO believe that every couple deserves the same rights) this wasn’t a bribe. How far up your rear end must your head be for you to believe that these guys “sold out” to the tune of $10,000 by voting for something that will likely cost them millions in campaign donations AND will result in the GOP doing everything they can to oppose them in the primaries. I guess hate really does blind some people.

    And I’m a Christian whether you believe it or not (and clearly you won’t ever believe it). And yes, I do believe that when you find yourself before God on judgement day you’ll be saying, “but Lord Lord didn’t I…” as he sends you away. And no it’s not just because you disagree with me. I know plenty of wonderful Christians who disagree with me about a lot of things, including homosexuality, who I’m looking forward to spending eternity with. You on the other hand are clearly consumed by arrogance, hate and spite. It’s not really any of my business I suppose, but you must be rather miserable.

    • Unless you can prove that they were going to get “millions” in campaign donations, this was a bribe. And yes, we know that they were against it.

      You are incapable of seeing this as a bribe because you l are both supportive of marriage equality. Anything else is kind of like segregation, right? And because you are politically inclined to support Bloomberg and the four saintly Republican senators, you cannot see this for what it really is. But let’s get real. It was a bribe. It doesn’t bother me and it doesn’t bother you. We have the moral high ground here so it’s okay. It’s certainly not the most underhanded things that homosexuals have done in the service to our cause. Everything we do is sneaky and underhanded.

      Furthermore, you do not understand the definition of a bribe. A bribe is money given quid pro quo. Your whole argument seems to be that they were going to vote that way anyway. Did you even read the article? The money was given on the condition that they vote the way Bloomberg wanted. That’s called a bribe. Vote this way and there’s a check in it for you.

      Makes me wonder, does Bloomberg just enjoy handing out money? I mean, according to you, he didn’t have to write these checks and the senators would have voted the way they did anyway. So the checks had no effect at all. He was just writing them for shits and giggles. He loves handing out money to senators. Not because he wants to sway their votes, just because he loves tossing cash at people. Why didn’t he donate the money to the senators’ favorite charities?

      Senator Alesi switched sides within ten days of the vote. So, you’re wrong.

      • “Unless you can prove that they were going to get “millions” in campaign donations, this was a bribe. And yes, we know that they were against it.”

        See this link: http://www.bilerico.com/2011/06/nys_marriage_equality_republicans_may_face_backlas.php

        “Since the vote, the Republicans have faced opposition from social conservatives, who have said they would pull campaign funding from the senators and actively seek to unseat them from their positions.”


        “Michael Long, chairman of the NY State Conservative Committee, has stated that his organization will likely pull its endorsement of Sen. Saland as a result of his vote.”


        “The Dutchess County Conservative Party chairwoman Patricia Killian said [Saland’s] future with the party ‘is null and void.’ Asked how she felt about his decision, she responded, ‘Disappointed as I’ve seldom been disappointed in my life.'”


        “Conservative groups vowed to spend $2 million next year to defeat him and other Republicans who supported the bill.”


        “Alesi has also said that he expects to lose support from the Conservative Party, the organization that responded to news of the vote with a press release entitled, “Passage of Same-Sex Marriage is a Disaster for the Future”, when he runs for reelection in 2012.”

        And then this article (http://blog.timesunion.com/capitol/archives/70687/roy-mcdonald-is-31st-vote-for-same-sex-marriage/) which states, “The Conservative Party has vowed to yank its endorsement from any senator that votes to legalize same-sex marriage.”

        Promising to support Senators who vote their concise and risk losing support and campaign funding from their party in doing so isn’t a bribe. A bribe (i.e. a payment for a vote that they don’t actually believe in) would result in them getting MORE money then they would have other wise, but all four of these Senators will likely LOSE campaign funding because of their votes, and could even lose their seats.

        But hey whatever, just keep living in your fantasy land…

        “Ahh! So if I don’t believe like you, I’m going to hell. How nice of you. I think that’s what they call ‘judging’.”

        That’s not even remotely what I said. Let’s try this again…

        “it’s not just because you disagree with me. I know plenty of wonderful Christians who disagree with me about a lot of things, including homosexuality, who I’m looking forward to spending eternity with.”

        Get it? Lot’s of Christians think homosexuality is a sin and are still good, moral and loving people that I expect to see in the Kingdom of God. You’re just not one of them. When you say things like, “Everything we [homosexuals] do is sneaky and underhanded,” that is so obviously and blatantly bigoted that I can’t imagine you have much love for anyone in your heart. I mean for crying out loud replace homosexuals with Jews and you have one of the oldest racist, anti-Semitic lines in the book. But hey whatever, just keep putting words in my mouth (and the mouth of every homosexual person ever) and believing you have the moral high ground. One day you’ll come around, that or you’ll die and find yourself in a place with lots of other angry, hateful people just like yourself, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

      • You’re clearly hung up on this word “bribe”.

        “money or favor given or promised in order to influence the judgment or conduct of a person in a position of trust” (Merriam-Webster)

        If only I had time to respond to your well-thought out comment. You don’t know much about how campaigns are fnanced, nor do you understand the difference between bribery (a crime) and not supporting someone whose voting record you object to (democracy). I think it’s because you’e a blithering idiot.

        These senators are WHORES and it’s a beautiful thing. They “voted their consciensces” all right. They were paid handsomly to do so.

        I must say, you do a great Christian impression. Already on your scond post you’ve decided to be judgemental and holier-than-thou in a single sentence. You know who will be going to heaven (you) and who will not (me). God has his favorites and you just know that I am not among them.

        Oh, and I don’t think that homosexuality is a sin. I am, in fact, an in-your-face, pushy faggot who loves anal sex. I also don’t believe in God. So you aren’t making any sense.

    • Patrick Fitzmichael said:

      “And yes, I do believe that when you find yourself before God on judgement day you’ll be saying, “but Lord Lord didn’t I…” as he sends you away.”

      Ahh! So if I don’t believe like you, I’m going to hell. How nice of you. I think that’s what they call “judging”.

      Well, like I said, I’m an anti-theist. Just like you are. So your threats of eternal damnatrion don’t scare me.

      Mind if I borrow that line? Next time I want to really confuse a Christian I’ll just tell them that when they’re standing before God he’s going to send them away because they didn’t support the state putting its seal of approval on sodomy.

      But seriously, you can stop bullshitting me now. This website is a safe space. You don’t have to pretend to be a Christian here. I understand that need for PsyOps among the Christofascist community, but I’m already convinced that there’s nothing wrong with butt sex. So stop preaching to the choir.

  3. Charlie said:

    Lady, you think about gay sex more than I do when I’m having it.

  4. Wow! When will this criminal be brought to justice?

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