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Coming on the heels of last week’s all-out blitz of Albany by radical homo-hating Jews (see previous post), known homophobe (and Jew!) Benjamin Shapiro takes a mean-spirited swipe at the LGBTQXYZ community.

You may know Shapiro as the  loudmouth, yarmulke-wearing, young  right-wing columnist, activist, and radio host. This moron graduated suma cum laude from UCLA at the age of twenty and then graduated cum laude with a Juris Doctorate from Harvard Law at the age of twenty-three.  Actually, I would be totally impressed with his Ivy League credentials if he were on my side, but since he isn’t, then I don’t really care.

Lil' Benny Shapiro posing with his first book, "Brainwashed: How Universities Indoctrinate America's Youth". As if there's something wrong with that. Anyway, this is one, mean, nasty, gay-hating JEW. Being from California, I'd bet he even voted for Prop H8. He'd get along well with Jews for Decency (and/or Fascism)

Shapiro’s one of those abstinence crusaders. He thinks guys should keep their schmeckels in their pants until marriage. Marriage to women, of course. Psht. Somebody ought to tell him that abstinence is the leading cause of AIDS and unwanted pregnancies. That’s what I learned from NPR anyway. But you know he’s a real prude, and probably a repressed homosexual…or so I hope.

In his latest book, “Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV”, Shapiro offers weak arguments to the effect that lefty producers in Hollywood are making television programs with lefty messages. What those messages are, or what evidence Shapiro presents, I don’t know because I haven’t read it. I won’t read it either, because I might kill myself. You have to understand that gay people commit suicide at the drop of a hat.

Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV". Haven't read this one either. And I won't. I guess it kind of perturbs me that he makes the Left "taking over" your TV sound like a bad thing.

The whole book is based on deceit. Shapiro actually went around to Hollywood producers, introducing himself–using his real name!–and wearing a Harvard Law baseball cap, which is a school he actually attended. He was trying to pass himself off as some kind of Harvard educated Jew…which he kind of is, I suppose. But it’s really sneaky because he predicts that Hollywood producers will assume that he’s a liberal just like they are and speak freely about their biases. And they did. Isn’t he underhanded?

Shapiro seems upset that the Hollywood producers he talked  go out of their way to make gay characters look good, the old “television promotes homosexuality” argument. Everyone knows that you can’t actually promote homosexuality because it’s an inborn trait. Don’t ask me to show you the gene that causes it because I can’t. Just take it on faith the way that I do.

So, what’s wrong with making gay characters look good? I think that’s a real positive. It doesn’t shake my faith in the gay precept that homosexuals are constantly maligned and abused in our society. Nope. Not one bit. I still consider myself America’s premiere victim group despite the fact that the entertainment industry does nothing but shill for my issues.

Imagine that you’re watching Law and Order or a similar cop show. Let’s say that the detectives are investigating a suspect for a possible homocide. And then they drop the bombshell–the suspect in question is a cocksmuggler! Well then, you know instantly that the homosexual being investigated didn’t commit the crime. He probably has an airtight alibi. He couldn’t have committed the murder because he and his partner were feeding the homeless at the time the crime took place. Or they were rescuing kittens.

If you want to know who really did the deed, turn your suspicion toward the swarmy Catholic priest or evangelical minister. Ha! Yep, you can bet that he was the one who did it, every time. He’s also a pedophile with odd Nazi sympathies.  If the show doesn’t feature any swarmy Catholic priests or evangelical ministers, your next best bet would be the deranged Marine who just got home from Afghanistan. He probably did it. Unless he’s a gay Marine of course, in which case all bets are off.

Homosexuals are always the most loveable, wise, kind, and generous characters in TV Land. The “homo with a heart of gold” is a stock character on every show. There are no gay drug dealers like the real life Matthew Shepard, or gay murderers like the real life Nicholas Gutierrez.  There are only friendly gay neighbors, funny gay husbands, and loveable gay teens.

And that’s the way it should be! Every LGBTQXYZ character is saintly, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I guess that’s my beef with Shapiro. Even the title of his book sounds conspiratorial–how the Left “took over” your TV. Wait, isn’t the TV rightfully ours? Only progressive people like me should be on television. Only people with my values should be writing the scripts. I’ve even heard rumors that there are a few backward people in the Midwest who still think homosexuality is “wrong”. What the hell is the point of televison if not to furtively deliver positive messages about sodomy into their living rooms on a daily basis?

In Shapiro’s latest rant, “Of Television and Same-sex Marriage,” he argues:

“It’s not that tolerance for gays and lesbians is a bad message – precisely the opposite.  But Hollywood’s goal in making homosexuality ubiquitous on television is to create a gay friend and neighbor for everyone, so that they can then make the most effective argument on behalf of gay marriage.”

Um, yeah? So? That’s what television is for–to make stupid people think like Hollywood’s gay elite. Stupid people need that from time to time. Flaming homosexuals need to be on television at every moment. Nothing but gayness on every channel, in every time slot. We need girls kissing on The Family Channel (we achieved that), we need gay weddings on every sitcom (we’ve achieved that), gay dads rasing kids (we’ve achieved that). We need an entire gay channel (we’ve achieved that). We need HIV positive characters on Sesame Street, for crying out loud! (We’ve acheived that too). Everything has to be gay all the time or else I’m oppressed and might take my own life. Okay, so even when the entire network line up is painted rainbow colors, I’m still oppressed. And I still might take my own life.

Shapiro has this weird idea that the overrepresentation of homosexuals on the television screen might have something to do with the fact that most Americans think that gay people are jumping out of the woodwork at them.

This week, a poll of Americans showed something absolutely stunning: a full 35 percent of Americans believe that more than one in four Americans is gay; a majority, 52 percent, think that over 20 percent are gay; and a full 78 percent believe that at least ten percent of Americans are gay.  The real statistic: somewhere around two percent of Americans are gay.  There is only one place in American life that the one in four figure or one in five figure is absolutely accurate: on television, where gay characters pervade virtually every show.  The younger Americans are, the more likely they are to believe that there is an elevated population of gays; the poorer and less educated they are, the more likely they are to believe the skewed statistics.  Not coincidentally, those who are young, poor, and uneducated tend to be the largest consumers of television.

Okay, so poorer and less educated people think that everybody’s gay because all they do is sit on their asses in their double wide trailers and watch the idiot box. And everything on their television is supergay. I think that’s really great. So what if actual proportion of LGBTQXYZ Americans is one in fifty rather than one in four? That just means that television is doing a bang up job of warping their reality in a gay-positive manner.

At one point in the book, Shapiro interviews Marc Cherry, the pillow-biting producer of Desperate Housewives. Mr. Cherry explains why he introduced a gay couple to the show:

“…[It is] it’s own political statement which was ‘see, you can have gay neighbors, they can be perfectly fine, they can fit in with the rest of the folks, and it doesn’t change anything.  And you kind of hope that you are preparing the way, planting little seeds in the minds of people who sometime over the next few years are going to have gay neighbors buy a house on their street.  And for me, that’s the most effective political message is that its not particularly aggressive.”

In Ben Shapiro’s bizarro world, producers who “prepare the way” and “plant little seeds in the minds of people” are engaging in some form of insidious “propaganda”.  It’s almost as if Marc Cherry is trying to slip you an “effective political message” without you even knowing it. Which he is, of course. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

The gay neighbors on Desperate Housewives. "And I don't really talk about their sexuality much," says gay producer Marc Cherry. I can see that. Cherry's "political message" is so effective precisely because it's "not aggressive", as he puts it. This happens to be my favorite DH scene ever. I TiVoed it so I could yank my crank to it over and over.

So, if you’re interested in wasting $24.99 on some wacky, insane, homophobic conspiracy theories from well-known ORTHODOX JEW, feel free to pick up Shapiro’s book. If you’re like me, however, you won’t read it. I don’t read much.

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